The Dark Side Of Kate Beckett
by Lara Knight
Summary: Kate was 15 when her mother died. She had never felt so much hurt, pain. And true loneliness. He father drank to numb the pain, to feel nothing. She wanted to feel nothing. Thats when it began. The voices…..WARNING THEMES SELF HURT AND DEPRESSION! mix up of all the things that came to my mind in maths today...Little sad : it will get better...


Hi, this is a all the little ideas that came to me in maths class today rolled into one big crazy fanfiction...Hope you like it... :)

Kate was 15 when her mother died. She had never felt so much hurt, pain. And true loneliness. He father drank to numb the pain, to feel nothing.

She wanted to feel nothing. Thats when it began.

The voices ..

At first it was only a small voice, she could ignore it. But she didn t want to it, she wasn t sure why but she liked having someone to talk to her.

The small voice said Go talk to that guy. Ask him for was you know you want.

She did, she got the drugs to feel nothing, to feel numb.

Her father didn t notice she was high, why would he?

Jim tried to be there for his daughter but every time he looked at her green eye it reminded him of all the love he lost.

She still went to school. She wagged a lot but still enjoyed english so she only stayed for that.

The days merged together for kate, she got high more often, so that the days went faster. So that she had a reason to keep going.

The voice grew loader, more demanding, more dominant. Your a disappointment! Why are you here? They all hate you! They don t want you! They all leave you. You truth them all but they leave! it screamed at her.

She sat all alone in her room. Coming now from her high and real life.

Take it. Go on! the knife screamed her.

She reached out and picked up the knife sitting on her book shelf. And starred at it.

She lifted her shorts and cut a deep length into her skin, resulting in a rapidly quickening pool of dark red liquid flowing onto her bed.

It didn t occur to her that it was blood, her blood.

Again! it whispered.

She did. The blood pooled even faster.

She dropped the the knife on the bed next to her or rather let it fall out her hand.

She glared at the knife for what it had done, done to her.

She let her head fall back to the pillows and starred blankly at the celling.

She felt numb, nothing, no pain, no hurt.

It was a thursday when they meet, a cold rainy thursday.

Kate had sat down in her normal set and looked at the window, following the drops of water streaming down, simple but calming.

Kate? the brown haired teacher yelled. Here! she yelled back, now once again fully alert.

Richard! the young teacher yelled out.  
After a moment she yelled again Richard Rogers? she yelled.

A young man burst through the wooden door with dripping clothes and socked hair that was slowly dropping rain droplets on his roughly handsome face.

Here! he announced.  
Richard, here at sliver lake if you are late you must sign in at student services , but *she let it hang there* since its your first day ill be nice. she replied, with a warm smile.

Yes Miss .. he didn t know any of his teachers names. Crap.

Miss Light-heart, Richard. she said before continuing down the roll.

Richards eyes lit up when his luck changed, the last set was next to the prettiest girl in the class, who happened to be starting out the window, she wouldn t see him coming.

She felt a sudden warmth next to her. But before she could turn to see who it was there was a hand on the small of her back that sent shivers up her spine.

There was hot breath on her ear.

Quick 2 questions, 1. Do you have a boyfriend? 2. Is he the popular guy thats starring at us? the new voice asked.

Hahaha, ummmmmm .No and no. Who are you? she asked turning around to see the still socking wet boy.

Richard Roagers, all my friends that my old school called me Rick. And whom may you be? he asked a little to happy for her liking.

Kate, Kate Beckett. Now Rick why did you sit here? she answered.

Last place in the room. he answered not looking at her anymore.

She looked around and smiled he was right, it was.

They were studying romeo and juliet. By this point Miss light-heart had handed out all the books and was giving a description of the play, that seemed rehearsed.

Ok class, pair up. And read act 3 scene 1. Kate hated it when the teacher did this, and even worse the only person left in ths class was Rick. Great.

Looks like your stuck with me. he said quietly, as if he had read her mind.

Yeah, stuck with the new kid. she replied, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

As they read the act and the other characters slowly disappeared until they were left with Romeo and Juliet.

Rick could tell Kate was uncomfortable with this and decided to stop, they were away head of the rest of the class and curiously got the better of him.

He wanted to know the story behind those green eyes, he needed to know why she was uncomfortable with this?, why this pretty girl sat alone at the back of the class? And most of all, Why did she seem to have so much on her mind?

He wanted answers. And that was the moment he knew he wanted to know her.

Later that night

Kate had been drinking, understatement, she was very drunk. It was one of the ways she got through the night.

**buzz** went her phone.

She woke, reaches over and picked up the phone.

Beckett she answered it the way she always had and will.

Beckett? Where are you? Ryan has been calling you for half an hour! a familiar voice spoke.

Rick? she asked still dazed from sleep and how real it felt. He was talking to fast for her, this early.

Rick was silent for a few seconds, she called him Rick, it had been a long time since she had.

Kate? Are you feeling okay? he asked with concern written all over his voice.

Kate lay back in her bed.

*cough* I ll be fine, Rick.**cough* she barely got out.

Where did this cough come from? She thought.

You don t sound fine, Kate. Maybe you shouldn t come into work today. it almost sounded like a question but not quiet.

Rick, *cough* I ll be fine. Wheres the body? she demand, now fully back to reality.

Kate, no. You are not coming to work. Im coming over to you apartment now! and disconnected.

What could she do?

10 minutes later

Kate hadn t bothered to get dressed or put her normal make up on. He was coming over and he choose to see her like this.

*.knock* the wooden door always made a echo in her apartment.

Kate was pretty sure it was Castle but you can never be too careful.

She answered the door with her gun, pointed exactly in the center of Castles rather large cheat she held it for a few more seconds than needed.

I come in peace! I bring offerings of chocolate, wine and .well anything else you can think of. he said holding his hands up.

She smiled, Come in, Castle. she gestured for him to walk in, and he did.

He put the big green, what kate could only believe were shopping bags, on her bench top and unpacked a few items to display for her.

what do you want for lunch? he asked with the biggest smile possible coz he was making lunch for her.

Lunch? she questioned, before starring at the digital clock in her kitchen.

Yeah,Kate, its lunch time. You slept in. he explained.

Righto..I ll have . she didn t finish.

*Slam* her whole body stopped working. Her legs gave out. Everything went black.

Kate? Kate? Kate? a warm voice spoke but everything was still black.

Kate? Stay with me, Kate! it continued.

Everything was fuzzy. She felt .week. She didn t like it.

Thank god! Kate! What happened? he asked.

Rick, I think you should go. she said quietly.

Confused. Anger. Denial. Determination. These were the emotions of Rick Castles face to Kate s last statement.

Sorry, Kate. But no. Im not leaving you. he answered in a strong tone, serious. Just like his face.

Kate attempted to stand up. But felt dizzy and walked over to the couch.

She leaned on it for balance.

Why not? she asked quietly not making eye contact.

Why not what? he asked confused.

Why aren t you leaving me? she asked.

Why would I leaving you, Kate? Your sick, i want to help. he answered.

Coz everyone else does. she answered.

Everyone else does what? he asked.

EVERYONE LEAVES ME! she screamed.

Shocked by this out burst Rick had to recuperate. What was she on about? He thought.

Who left you? he asked.

Everyone leaves,captain, my dad, my mum, will, demming,JOSH! And you will too just go already. Let me die! she listed.

Kate, im not leaving you. he answered.

Just go, Rick! she wanted to be alone.

He walked over to the door. Instead of opening it and leaving.

He locked it. She had turned and walked into her bedroom.

She was pretty sure he was gone.

He stayed quiet. Waited in her lounge room for her to calm down.

Then he heard her begin to scream he couldn t stand it.

Kate! he walked into her bedroom. And saw her.

Tears drifted slowly down her Face, eyes red and her body shaking.

Kate, I think we need to get you to a doctor. he suggested.

30 minutes later .

Just as I though Miss Beckett. the old doctor with grey hair announced as he walked in.

What was that? she asked with a little sarcasm.

Have you been having any dreams with people you know but in other roles? Little like in another universe they could be those people? the doctor asked.

Ummm .Yes, i have. she answered.

Yup, thats normal during pregnancy. He answered.

WHAT? Castle yelled. Kate almost forgot he was there.

Yes, congratulations! he said.

Kate didn t talk. She didn t know what to say.

Sorry about all the negative stuuf :( but it makes it that much better when she finds Rick :) 


End file.
